


50 Shades of Jim, Shut The Fuck Up

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Bad erotic novels, Language, M/M, i'm not even sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 16:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/480544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has a special surprise for Seb. He was not expecting what followed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	50 Shades of Jim, Shut The Fuck Up

When Jim had told Seb that he had a ‘special surprise’ for him, Seb expected one of two things:

\- Jim clad in leather  
\- Porn  
Seb got one of those, but not in the way he expected…

***

“”Suck me, baby.” His thumb presses on my tongue, and my mouth closes around him, sucking wildly. Holy fuck. This is wrong, but holy hell is it… erotic.”

“Holy hell is it erotic’? What the fuck, Jim?”

Jim was lying on his stomach, Seb’s ‘special surprise’ clasped in his hands. When Seb returned to their bedroom that night, Jim informed them that it was porn he had in store for them, but instead of the old boring DVD’s and downloaded files, it would be an erotic novel that they were reading (that’s right, ladies and gentlemen, reading. Seb was off the idea right then and there. Watching porn was good. Watching porn was fun. But how the hell was he supposed to jerk off properly when he’d always be afraid of dropping a bloody book?).

And thus came to be Sebastian Moran’s first (and hopefully last, though he doubted it) encounter with 50 Shades of Grey.

“Okay, okay, how about this,” Jim grinned, flipping through the pages gleefully, “‘The muscles inside the deepest, darkest part of me clench in the most delicious fashion.’”

“Is that actually what it feels like to be turned on if you’re a girl?” Seb said, a disgusted look on his face, “And is it even socially acceptable to call your own vagina ‘delicious’? Like, I’m all for loving yourself and all that self-worth shit, but I think that’s taking it a step too far, honestly..”

Seb didn’t know what was worse, the actual novel itself, or the fact that Jim was forcing him to sit through it, scooting away whenever Seb attempted to come at him.

“All right, let’s try this..” Jim muttered, biting his lip to keep himself from laughing, “‘I had no idea giving pleasure could be such a turn-on, watching him writhe subtly with carnal longing. My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.’”

“Let me just stop you there for a second Jim,” Seb rolled his eyes, “But how exactly does one ‘writhe subtly’?”

Jim thought for a moment before throwing the book down, flipping onto his back on the bed, looking at Seb, starting to move, a desperate look on his face, “Like this,” he groaned breathily.

And, well, that just wasn’t fair.

Seb crawled onto Jim, looking down at him with a smirk.

“You know,” Seb muttered, trying to hold back his laughter, “Perhaps I should try to make your inner goddess do the merengue with some salsa moves.”

It was hard to blow Jim after that because every time Seb brought his mouth anywhere near to his cock, Jim would whisper something about how his inner goddess was ‘jumping up and down with cheer-leading pom-poms, shouting yes at him’, leaving Seb a groaning, disappointed mess and Jim writhing with laughter.

It was going to be a long night.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a drabble prompt for my role play blog on Tumblr. I'm really not sorry.


End file.
